We are 4 women bound by blood, 3 sisters and their mother. Our goal is to help each other become the best we can be. Helping each other we can improve our intelligence, image, health, wealth, talents and abilities. We are each magical and powerful when we stand alone, but we are amazingly powerful when we stand together, and the results are out of this world. We talk about our natural hair, our weight, fashion, food, parties and living well. We make the ultimate Mother Daughter Team.
We are all pretty, so we don't like be labeled the ugly sister. Although, I must admit from time to time I do make myself the ugly sister. Let me warn you now, that is a major set up. I do this because I want to know what kind of person you are. Many people are kept at arms length because they revealed their own ugliness. I guess that is one of the advantages of being sisters. There are 3 of us and it is very hard for people with bad intentions to get close. They do of course, but it is only because the one sister who is sounding the alarm was forced to shut up.
The other good thing about being sisters? There is always someone to cover for you. If Joy is supposed to be at a party but has an audition, no one will be upset with Faith or me replacing her. It is still a good time. If Faith is over booked but our mom needs someone's opinion about a new piece of property, I'll go with mom to look at the property and Joy will arrive ahead of time to one of Faith's other bookings and stall. Joy is great at stalling. We could also look at my classic "Love" moment. I am not feeling an event but I know Joy and Faith are going to look hot which means I don't have to try as hard, hehe. They look good so I look good.
Being sisters always means you have a personal stylist, personal assistant and brand ambassador. Yes, there are major problems working with your sisters. The fights are hell on Earth. The resentments are growing and sometimes you feel like you aren't getting enough credit! The thing is, the good out weighs the bad. I gladly serve as my sisters spotlight, bodyguard, personal assistant, glam squad and back drop. I know we all have the same goals. We all want to get to the same place. We may all want to lead and yes sometimes that is a problem but it is also a great advantage. Once we figure out this dance of lead, follow, lead the world will be no match for us.
For years now my Aunt Crystal has held her annual Sister To Sister (Click here to read about 2013 party it was a blast) party. It is a party to bring together sisters of all kinds. Blood sisters, In-Law Sisters, Church sisters, Best Friend Sisters, Work Sisters and any other type of "sister" you can think of gather together for the first Saturday in December.
Now our family is very big and I don't think all of Aunt Crystals sisters have ever been at this event at the same time. In fact I know they have not. Now my mom has been there almost every year and so has Aunt Kathy but Aunt Crystal has yet to be lucky enough to have all her sisters attend in the same year. There is Yvonne the oldest, then of course Crystal (the host), Glenda (my mom), Wanda, Lutisha, C.C., Tonya, and Kimberly. They are a party onto themselves and one day I am sure that all will party together. FYI funerals don't count, lol.
Aunt Crystal's party has more to do with building up a sisterhood than being blood sisters. She wants women to come together and eat because that's what families do. She wants us to play games together because that's how families build relationships. She wants us to laugh and dance together because that's how our sisterhood celebrates this life together. In December 2013 I became a widow. Eight months later in August 2014 my Aunt Crystal became a widow, too. It is 2015 and many of the ladies attended a wake before coming to the party. Regardless we all share our lives together.
Sisters are sisters but sometimes your blood sister can't be there for you. At a gathering like this it is okay because you always belong to a sisterhood of women. Sometimes your Aunt is your sister. Sometimes the person who works with your Aunt and that you are meeting for the first time, is your sister. When you enter my Aunts party you know that everyone is a sister period and that is a comfort. It kicks off the holidays and all though we may not know what the future holds, we know today there will be the game Pokeno.
I loved my husband and tried to integrate him into every part of my
life. My sisters loved my husband like a brother. My mother loved
my husband as if he were her son. None of us could imagine living in a
world without him physically being present. It seemed impossible.
Bryan left the physical world December 13, 2013.That is right, he moved on to the other
side less than two months ago.We
celebrated Christmas, New Years, my birthday and went on our first road trip
without him during the roughly month and a half since I last physically saw
him.(Note: my sisters, my mother
and I have seen him in spirit a few times but we are so distraught that I feel
it affects those experiences.)
We did our best to get through Christmas, New Years and my
birthday.If it weren’t for my
Aunt Crystal, cousin Shawn and Erik we really would not have made it
through.They dropped everything
in their lives to help the four of us at great inconvenience to
themselves.They gave their very
best for us and allowed us to mourn while celebrating all the holidays.
Bryan’s parents and siblings handled his loss with a grace I did not
have.They were completely
beautiful in handling the loss of such a wonderful son and brother.I could only hope that one day I could
be as graceful as they were.(Note: May we never have to show such grace because of a tragedy
again.May all of us show grace in
the way we live and may we never experience this kind of pain again.)Bryan’s cousin was the only person who
could calm me down on the day I discovered my husband’s body.She may not know it but she gave me
information that I needed.She and
my sister Joy together handled getting information to all family members on
both sides.
We are all trying hard to live with the way our world is now.Dealing with me is not the easiest
thing during normal circumstances and right now it is near to impossible.I am not a social person but as part of
a group I am very social.My
sisters look at going out as fun.I see going out as my job, which is a good thing, because if it weren’t
my job I would never leave the house.The point is, because I see being out as part of my job I went out New
Years instead of staying at home.I cried all night.The
lyrics of the songs just tore me apart.Same thing on my birthday, we went to a casino to celebrate and to hear a live band.I cried so hard that I
was embarrassed.
The road trip we took was a trip Bryan had planned for us years back but
we never took.It was strange
because Joy made the arrangements without remembering that Bryan had made plans
for us to go there many years ago.While Joy was booking the resort she kept commenting that Bryan was
picking the resort.She was right,
he was.It was very healing for us
to be there. We received several
treatments including Body Talk, which has really helped us.The Body talk treatment was so powerful
we will continue to have them with our local practitioner.I felt good at the resort all day and
all afternoon but by dinner (every dinner at the resort) I cried.
Faith came up with a wonderful idea today.She basically said that maybe we need to figure out how to
have fun at home and it will help us have fun out.That isn’t what she said but I can’t put it the way she
did.I just know that she had us
play Black Jack today in the breakfast room and I feel better.I can at least attempt to write.Faith allowed me to feel happy.I think that she believes that if we
practice living at home as if we are out that maybe one day we can go to the
real Black Jack table or dance floor or spa or fancy dinner and make it through
without crying.We can live the
moments we are in and not the moment we want most to change.
Okay, I am very bored with trying to make myself look the way I want in my dreams. I am frankly burned out when it comes to diets and my hair can never grow fast enough to satisfy me. Right now the only thing that can excite me is fashion, but all my money is tied up, so I am not all that excited. Unfortunately it seems the rest of the Ladies Of The Round Table are burned out on everything to do with self improvement, too. In other words none of use can stay on a diet, and none of us seem to care!
This started me thinking, "Is there something wrong in the Universe?" Why can't I do what needs to be done? Why can't anyone in my family stay on a diet? I have been looking at adjusting my schedule to coincide with the moon. I was explaining to Faith my little experiment when she asked me if I had ever tried to use the moon to plan my diet. I had not. Wow, I was using the waning and waxing of the moon to plan all sorts of things but not my diet. Now I have heard of using the waxing and waning of the moon to grow your hair longer and loss weight, but I have never actually tried it. This may be the something I needed. Maybe I can breathe new life into my image goals. Timing my diet to the waning and waxing of the moon might be fun. So I looked up how to use the moon to make my hair longer and my waist smaller.
I looked at many sites and books. I found Farmer's Almanac extremely helpful. They have a Best Days Calendar that makes planning beauty ideas easy. Apparently, starting a diet during a waxing moon is harder on your willpower. Cutting your hair during a waning moon is a very bad idea if you want long hair. Oh, and the best time to start a diet is the night of the Full Moon. The full Moon this month is tomorrow, October 18, 2013 (also lunar eclipse). Yes, tomorrow I will start my diet. I will see if starting my dieting during the full Moon really makes things easier. It won't be just me starting my diet by myself, I hope. Mom and my sisters are supposed to start their diets tomorrow. All of us will be doing The 4-Hour Body (Faith and I both read and love this book) and Pat Brown System (a friend recently told us to check this out). In addition I am doing the the Fast Diet for a little extra kick; I really liked the book and I know that the 5:2 schedule will work well for me. So, tomorrow we diet, but today we feast. Joy and Faith made a huge brunch. It was amazing. Later tonight I will have Korean noodles and bourbon.
Tomorrow we diet. Today I have no motivation to diet but maybe tomorrow will be different. We have to diet. We must diet. Our goals are clear. Diet to look even better than we did here:
Mom (Glenda)
Love (me)
Joy
Faith at Perfect.
My goal is to drop weight and grow longer hair using the help of the moon. Heck, when you get bored with dieting you have to change it up. If you need a new formula to help improve your image, start looking at things you haven't tried. At the very least it will add a little excitement to your beauty routine. As for now when the moon is waning I am going to give my hair oil treatments and deep conditioning. Today I am going to feast, drink and be merry. Oh, here is the brunch that Joy and Faith made for today's last hoorah. Food porn anyone? Cheese Grits, Maple Bacon, Eggs, Cut Potatoes (home fries), Buttermilk Pancakes
Buttermilk Pancakes
Weisenberger Flour Mill a Kentucky Proud product
When I was a little girl, my hair was constantly compared to the hair of other women in my family, and to hear other people talk I was born with the least desirable grade of hair. Back story: My grandmother was born with straight hair; not even a wave graced her hair. This made my grandmother and her sisters' lives easier than the lives of other women with varying grades of hair.
My grandmother and her sisters pin-curled their straight hair and went about their days, three sisters with beautiful and easy to work with hair. My Grandmother's daughters would not be so lucky. They were born with mixed grades of hair. My mother had the easiest hair to deal with because it was mostly wavy. Noticed I said mostly. My mother was born with three grades of hair. She has mainly waves, but she has also large curls mixed with extremely kinky, frizzy hair. My mother's hair can look wavy and curly, but it takes a little more care and a lot of moisture. Still, my mother's hair is a breeze compared to mine. Her hair uses very little product. My mother's hair just needs a little love, but because it doesn't take that much effort she really doesn't do anything. Let me say this: neglecting your hair can destroy even the best hair.
My Grandmother and Mother May 5, 2013
My sisters and I have curly-kinky hair. Faith has the perfect spirals when her hair is well cared for, but she also has 3 different grades of hair. Joy is lucky; her hair is very strong and she has only one curl pattern. Her curls are small but perfect. I, like my mother and my younger sister, Faith, happen to have 3 different grades of hair, but that is the only thing that is similar. I have a lot of hair, and every strand is very thin. Even when I take great care with my hair it can snap easily.
My sister's Joy and Faith.
The Solutions
Okay, so this blog is about making sure that my family and I become the best we can be. Hair is one of those image things that matter. It is easy to point out what is going wrong with your hair but hard to find solutions. I don't know what solutions will work for you, but I can tell you there are a ton of vlogs (video blogs) that you can use to find what is best for you. Best advice I can offer is for you to watch videos on how to use all products. I know you think you know how to use conditioner and gel and hair oil, but really you may not be "doing it" right. Doing your hair is like having sex. Yes, you can have sex by having basic intercourse, but I can tell you awesome sex comes only with knowledge and passion. In other words great hair and great sex may require a video or two.
The following is a list of products I found work for me and the rest of my tribe. My choices I tried off and on for years, but my results were mixed because I never really watched a video on the best way to apply theses products. Now, the way I apply my products are unique to me, but other people's suggestions helped me develop my own technique.
Note: This list is really just to help me. We tend to get overwhelmed by which hair products to use for our natural hair (curly hair, kinky hair and wavy hair) and I want to remember what has worked for me and my family. Below I have listed what hair products work for each of us. These hair products are good for 2b/2c hair types, 3a/3b/3c hair types and yes all the 4 hair types too. So we are four different women with four different types of hair and we each have our own list of natural hair products. You may have your own hair products but this is what works for us.
My Hair Solutions
Natural Hair 3B, 3C, and 4A mix
My Hair is a mix of 3b, 3c and 4a
Okay, this pic is not my worst hair day and it is not my best hair day. There is no real curl definition, but the shrinkage is being managed, so... it is not a bad hair day. I would show you a bad hair day, but my family will kill me. I would show you a good hair day, but good hair days have not accompanied good body days. Plus my curls have yet to read well in a photo. Healthy hair, strong hair, is good hair. My hair requires a lot of moisture. Guess what? Oil is not moisture. Oil is a way to seal moisture, but it does not give your hair moisture and can seal out moisture if it is add first. I never shampoo my hair. I co-wash or use Wen or Rinse with apple cider vinegar. Okay, time for my list of products.
Feb 12 2017 note: There is a lot of controversy about WEN. At the bottom of this page I include a video addressing it. I still stand by co-washing and the WEN product and I am not paid by WEN at all.
Wen Six Thirteen
It is my cleanser, my hair conditioner, my leave in all in one. I get the 32 oz from QVC.
Kinky-Curly Knot Today
This is my leave in and styling product. If I need to look good and care free this is my product.
Kinky-Curly Curling Custard
I must look good. I must be perfect. I wash with the Wen, leave-in Knot Today and lock in my curl with the Curling Custard.
I seal my hair with vitamin E oil or almond/coconut/olive oil or Aloe gel from Trader Joe's. I dry my hair with a T-shirt. I hate twist outs on my hair but may change my opinion when my hair gets longer.
My Baby Sister Faith's Solution
Natural/Curly Hair 3A, 3B, and 3C
Her Hair is a mix of 3A 3B and 3C
Faith uses the exact same Wen I use Six Thirteen
Rituals It's A Wrap
Faith loves the product. Wishes she could use it everyday.
ELLiN Lavar PenetratingBalm
This is Faith's perfect finisher but it is always out of stock. So...we need to test some other balms. But the two above products give her the look she wants.
My Mother's Solution
Natural/Curly/Wavy Hair 2A, 2B, and 3B mix
Mom has 2A 2B 3B
It is hard to get a good hair and body pic cause my mom doesn't do anything to her hair. When she does her hair for pictures many times she has a roller set or blow out. This pic is one of the few with her hair down and curly.
Mom can use any Wen original or Six Thirteen. She uses Sweet Almond Mint because it is slightly cheaper than the Six Thirteen and does exactly what she needs. For styling mom is a Carol's Daughter girl. It is the first styling product she really loves.
Carols Daughter Hair Milk Original Leave-in Moisturizer
She loves this and needs very little to get results. When she uses it she looks perfect.
Carols Daughter Hair Milk Pudding Style
This allows mom to get through the day with a finished look. Her products last longer than most women with natural hair because her hair responds quickly to this product so she uses less of it. It is exactly what her hair needs.
Joy is the Middle Sister
Born with perfect 3C Hair
She has 3C only and her hair is strong
Joy can do anything to her hair and does. WEN keeps her hair in good condition.
She also uses Aveda. Joy's hair can take just about anything, so she plays with it a lot and rarely suffers consequences. The truth is I am not confidant that Joy is a 3C because her hair is super hair and completely bulletproof.
Family Event
At a family event last Saturday I realized more than 60% of the family has gone natural. We compared notes and there was one product that stuck out, Kiss My Face. Now I love Kiss My Face body wash but I have never tried their product in my hair. I must give it a try.
Focus
I feel that we all would have better hair days if we could remember and focus on what works. I know that my follow through could and should be improved in all areas of my life. If I can make my hair life easier I might have an easier time at other things. Image, talent, health and wealth are not easy to come by, but like momma always says,"How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." Hair is image and my first bite.
Wen vs Ren; Wen vs Balding; Co-Washing vs Clarifying Shampoo
There are of course four of us, one mother and three daughters. Two are earth signs and two are air. Two are born in the same year and three are born in the same month. All three daughters are cardinal signs (born leaders). Maybe it would be easier to explain if I gave the stats:
Mother Born- September Virgo Earth Sign
Daughter #1 Born- January Capricorn Earth Sign
Daughter #2 Born-September Libra Air Sign
Daughter #3 Born-September Libra Air Sign
Note: Daughter number 1 and Daughter #2 were born the same Year
I happen to be daughter number one, yes, the only one born in January. When I look at my family I see magic. At least on paper I see magic. I know when other people look at us they see magic, too. When people see our names they think wow that is magic. Our mother's name is Glenda and refers to herself as Glenda the Good Witch. Yes, we know the Good Witch spells her name with an "I" but really my mom is Glenda The Good Witch. My mother blessed me with the name Love. Joy and Faith (Faith's full name Faith Hope) quickly followed me into this world. So, Glenda The Good gave birth to three daughters named Love, Joy and Faith. That is a lot to live up to. People expect so much of you with names like ours.
We all have one goal, to see the best of each other and to experience that magic together. The thing is this is harder said than done. The one goal we have requires us to accomplish many smaller goals. Add to that the many road blocks of life and the fact that when one of us gets hurt all four of us are hurt and you begin to understand that the magic that is within tends to elude us.
We have awesome times together but we also have epic fights with each other. We are each others best cheerleaders so when one of us lose we are all pretty bummed out. We work together on many projects and compete with each other on other projects. I personally feel that when one of us does well my life gets better and if all of us are doing well it feels like the absolute perfect magic. "Doing well" many times concerns an outward appearance. Image, money and material things are easy for all too see but I know there is more to it than that. I also know that my sisters are more than good looking women in a Herve; they are also the women who light up a room when they walk in.
I want see what happens when we become our best. I want to know the freedom of having a good hair day and being my perfect weight and having my career success all on the same day. I mean, do any of us have that day really? I might have a good hair day but my career is in the toilet or my weight is out of control. Oh and even if I do manage to have an awesome hair/body/career day I am only winning one-fourth of the battle cause I want my sisters and mother to experience that day, too.
Our mantra: We are the new Camelot. We are the Ladies of the Round Table. We are more powerful than the knights. We are more magical than Merlin and Morgan le Faye.
These are a few of our appearances on TV, including our preparation for Christmas and one of our many Derby Parties. Special Thanks to WHAS Great Day Live with Rachel Platt and Terry Meiners, Wave Country with Dawn Gee (anchor Julian Glover), and WDRB Morning with Kieth Kaiser and of Course much love to Adam Richmond.
