Call It A Work Christmas

The 4 have had a very odd year this year and yet it was not so odd.  It was full of ups and downs, arguments and fights followed by impossible achievements.  This Christmas like this year was very odd.  On paper we had the best Christmas ever!!! It was filled with evening gowns, 100% silk linens and major property acquisitions.  There were no real major fights during the Holidays and we had a beautiful Christmas tree.  We even have great pictures of the four of us together.  On paper everything was perfect.  In the years to come that is how I hope to remember everything.  Off paper was something the world doesn't see.  Everything we did, every present we gave each other, every picture we took, was part of our working Christmas.  Yes, even on Christmas Day, we worked.

The Gifts

We each purchased beautiful dresses for each other.  They look beautiful and we look beautiful in them but every dress we bought was for an ad campaign.  We didn't pick the dresses because we wanted them.  We picked the dresses because we needed them.  Do we love Ralph Lauren? Yes. Would we have made different purchases if these were actual gifts? Yes.  We were so under pressure the entire month of December that we didn't give ourselves a chance to even think.  We each got at least 5-8 great gowns and dresses.  If it were a holiday shopping spree it would have been a fun one.  We would have enjoyed ourselves.  Perspective is everything.  We were panicked.  We wanted a certain look so we didn't go for what we wanted for Christmas.  I look at the rack of clothes in our "war room" and they really are amazing but I can't say they were gifts because they weren't.  If I could do the moment again I would remove the pressure we felt to get things done.  I would have noticed sooner that I am in a store with my beautiful mother and my two beautiful sisters shopping for dresses.  Next year and the years to follow will be working Christmases, too.  I know this because of the type of work we do but I am going to have to learn to change my perspective.  A woman in the grocery store was talking to her sister on the phone.  I over heard her ask her sister if she wanted to go dress shopping.  It was only then that I realized that I had that moment with my sisters already and I missed it! When family works together it is hard sometimes.  We are entertainers, event planners and we host guest from around the world.  Entertainers never take off for holidays, hospitality never takes off for Holidays.  Technically we did not give each other gifts, but we can think of what we did purchase this year as a working gift.

I did however buy silk for each of us.  I had been meaning to for years but silk, even on sale, even with a coupon, is expensive.  I spent well over $300.00.  I think it was closer to $500.00.  I should know but I am trying to avoid becoming depressed.  So why did I buy silk now? It wasn't for Christmas, although my purchase arrived just before Christmas Eve.  I bought it because I am trying my best to avoid a major problem with our hair.  Yea, I know just get a regular satin pillow case and hair cap.  I tried that.  I have used that for years.  Silk is better.  Satin served me well but it was not enough.  Satin keeps hair healthy but it doesn't protect as well as silk.  Oh and just so you know satin is the type of weave of the fabric it is not fabric.  Satin can be any fabric including silk.  I also learned that real silk is sold by the weight not thread count.  Well, to get back to the topic.  Something really bad happened that I don't want to talk about, but the silk was all I could do to help the situation.  I one day I will have the money to get them piles and piles of silk for fun.

The property we bought is a historic building.  It is a building everyone notices when you drive by and we will make it a place people won't forget.  We closed on this building in December which is a great Christmas present for all of us but...this was a lot of work.  Several months of stress and more to come.  Still this was the best moment we had this Holiday Season.  Maybe by New Year's Eve we will take a moment and really celebrate.  Again perspective is everything.   We need to take just 30 minutes and say wow.  Instead we are busy renovating the building and booking guest at our properties and burning the candle at both ends.  I want the 4 to see that they are not just working, but achieving great things.  I just need them to take in that this is Christmas and though everything we did this year was for work, it is still pretty cool.

Work

We tried to attend family events this year.  Last year I did not attend Christmas dinner and missed most of the Holiday Season.  This year I really wanted to try and be there with everyone for Christmas.  I was looking forward to Aunt Kim's Charity Party.  I missed it.  I wanted to be on time for Aunt Crystal's Christmas dinner.  We were 2 hours late.  I knew Aunt Kim's party was going to be amazing.  I was still searching for dresses with Mom and my sisters for our company ad at 9:00 PM the evening of my Aunt's Party.  I looked like a haggard hobo not a woman looking for dresses for work.  I remembered looking at my phone and saying I'm not going to make it.  Being creative while collaborating with 3 other women takes time.  The pics to Aunt Kim's event were amazing.  We were also late for Christmas dinner.  Why? Because we had someone book our property on Christmas Day.  Our guest arrived in Louisville on Christmas and found they had nowhere to stay.  Since we just purchased a new building this was a much needed booking.  Mom and Faith worked hard to settle our guest in one of our places.  In our family, you dress for Christmas dinner.  We did not.  We arrived looking well, less than what is expected, but we were there and we had fun.

Holiday Season

My husband passed December 13, 2013, Friday the 13th.  This year I wanted to decorate on the 13th to change the emotional charge of the day.  We haven't decorated since 2012.  We did not get a chance to do anything for Christmas on December, 13th this year like I wanted.  I was feeling  down. I felt like I failed.  I was downstairs at 2 am when the doorbell rang.  I didn't answer the door because it couldn't be for me and everyone else was asleep.  I did not know it was my mother's youngest brother, my uncle.  I did not know he brought us a real tree.  I went to bed before dawn.  I called my mother later that morning and she told me Uncle Wayne left us a tree.  The mood at our home had not been good.  It was difficult at best.  When I came downstairs later that afternoon it smelled like Christmas.  Faith who works all day and all night everyday looked happier than she had in months.  The tension was leaving our home.  We had something that we needed but couldn't get for ourselves left at our door step and it changed everything.  My uncle knew what the 13th was and he brought us a tree.  My uncle loved Bryan, too.  We all did.  He was our family.  I believe Bryan knew we felt defeated.  He knew that we really needed to change that day, so he sent my uncle at 2 am.  Thank God! We decorated our tree differently than we normally do but we still love it.  That is our first tree in years.

Perspective

I need to look at my life with new eyes.  Days can be a burden or a learning experience.  Work can be work or a moment to be spent with others.  A beautiful dress is a beautiful dress.  Does it matter that I got it for work? Christmas is Christmas even when we work so hard and we don't take notice.  Christmas happens. Life happens.

We Are All Sisters Happy Holidays

For years now my Aunt Crystal has held her annual Sister To Sister (Click here to read about 2013 party it was a blast) party. It is a party to bring together sisters of all kinds. Blood sisters, In-Law Sisters, Church sisters, Best Friend Sisters, Work Sisters and any other type of "sister" you can think of gather together for the first Saturday in December.  

Now our family is very big and I don't think all of Aunt Crystals sisters have ever been at this event at the same time. In fact I know they have not. Now my mom has been there almost every year and so has Aunt Kathy but Aunt Crystal has yet to be lucky enough to have all her sisters attend in the same year. There is Yvonne the oldest, then of course Crystal (the host), Glenda (my mom), Wanda, Lutisha, C.C., Tonya, and Kimberly. They are a party onto themselves and one day I am sure that all will party together. FYI funerals don't count, lol.

Aunt Crystal's party has more to do with building up a sisterhood than being blood sisters. She wants women to come together and eat because that's what families do. She wants us to play games together because that's how families build relationships. She wants us to laugh and dance together because that's how our sisterhood celebrates this life together. In December 2013 I became a widow. Eight months later in August 2014 my Aunt Crystal became a widow, too. It is 2015 and many of the ladies attended a wake before coming to the party. Regardless we all share our lives together.

Sisters are sisters but sometimes your blood sister can't be there for you. At a gathering like this it is okay because you always belong to a sisterhood of women. Sometimes your Aunt is your sister. Sometimes the person who works with your Aunt and that you are meeting for the first time, is your sister. When you enter my Aunts party you know that everyone is a sister period and that is a comfort. It kicks off the holidays and all though we may not know what the future holds, we know today there will be the game Pokeno.

My Jedi Mind Trick Diet Part II: Holiday Diet Or Food Fest? Thanksgiving, Christmas And New Years

It is Black Friday many of you have Thanksgiving leftovers you are still eating your way through.  I decided to go my own path and my own way.  I am making up my own rules and this will be the first Thanksgiving I actually lost weight and I mean a lot of weight.  I did not have a Thanksgiving meal yesterday and I loved it.  I am finding my own Jedi way.  To get the back story checkout my blog My Jedi Mind Trick Diet.

I was not sad to miss out on some of my Thanksgiving favorites.  In fact I ate some of my favorites the week before Thanksgiving.  I just feel Thanksgiving never occurs at a good diet moment in my life.  I always end up not happy with having my big meal on the last Thursday of November.  Let's face it we all want to look good during the Holidays and yet Thanksgiving almost guarantees you will spend the Holidays looking less than your dream holiday self.  I would always lament the loss of the last weekend in November.  I would always wish I could have my best food at the beginning of November because it was directly after Halloween and it would allow me to eat whatever I want and go on a diet later.  If Thanksgiving were the day after Halloween I would have most of November to diet/recover.  Unfortunately that's not the way things are.  This year I lost weight on Thanksgiving.  This year I will be my own Jedi.

I am posting video blogs on this page about my inner Jedi, my desire to become my better self and to be truly happy during the holiday season.

Jedi Mind Trick Diet- Losing Weight during the Holidays

Jedi Mind Trick Diet- Losing Weight during the Holidays Part 2

Jedi Mind Trick Diet- Losing Weight during the Holidays Part 3

Jedi Mind Trick Diet- Losing Weight during the Holidays Part 4

Christmas Party Kickoff-"Sister to Sister" (Getting In The Christmas Spirit)

Aunt Crystal wears the white hat.  Mom wears the Red.
The White and Red Queen

Our Aunt (Mom's sister) always throws a party the first Saturday of December titled "Sister to Sister.”  It is her way of celebrating her relationship with her sisters and other women.  It is her official Christmas kickoff party.  She never cancels, not during a snow storm, not during an ice storm, and not during a tornado.  It has become a tradition.  This year was no different.  We had a winter storm that Friday, and yet we were all there and ready to party.

Now, many of my Aunt's friends are older than her.  In fact, some of the women are at least 20 years older, so the party is kind of a strange and wonderful mix of women.  The point of the party is to have fun and, oddly enough, everyone does.  Now, at every party there is food, but this party is a little different.  My Aunt, who makes wonderful food, keeps it simple and tasty for this party.  We all eat well, but the main course is experiencing a day together.  It is a moment in time that makes you feel good about yourself and, frankly, privileged to be a woman.  Trust me, the guys have their own party that day, but I doubt it was as lively.

My Aunt's "Sister to Sister" party allows everyone of us to be little girls and grown women at the same time.  We play games.  We sing songs (Twelve Days Of Christmas every year), and we dance. Yes, we have a grand old time.  My Aunt may not know how much everyone appreciates her party, but we do! I admit sometimes I have a little panic attack before going.  I am not always feeling very social or in the Christmas spirit, but by the end of the night I am always glad that I came.  Plus where else am I going to see an 80 year old woman drop it like its hot!!! My Aunt's friends may be older than her, but they sure can party! 

Black Friday On Thanksgiving Thursday! Is Thanksgiving Still Thanksgiving Or Just Christmas Pre-Game?

I must admit.  I don't know a lot about Black Friday.  I do participate, but if Black Friday is a war, I am a foot soldier.  I follow orders.  I do what I am told.  Faith (and Aunt Crystal if we are in the same city) makes all the decisions.  Faith scouts out all the deals.  She decides what will be bought online and which store is a must to wait in line for the doors to open.  She maps things out for us, and her strategy is pretty flawless.  Faith is our General.  If I am not celebrating Thanksgiving with the rest of the family, she calls me and has me scout out the stores where I am.  This is a very serious time for us.  Seriously fun!  So much fun that I am torn on how to spend my Thanksgiving.

Now, normally we would have Thanksgiving dinner, relax, maybe meet up with relatives (or not) and begin putting up Christmas decorations (which takes days).  At some point during the night Faith decides if the Black Friday deals are worth standing in line for and if the weather is going to be a major problem.  By midnight she decides if we should just go to bed and hit the stores late, or take a nap and get in line at 3am, or just skip sleep altogether.  If it is skip sleep altogether, it might be because we need to shop online first and then get in line at the stores, or maybe a store is open at midnight.  I don't understand how it all works; I just follow orders.

This year is different.  This year stores will be open during Thanksgiving Day or at least by midnight on Black Friday.  I keep wondering how this will change Thanksgiving.  Does this mean the end of lines and the fear of being trampled when the store doors finally open? Does this mean the end of being outside in the cold for five hours just to get that new Xbox One or PS4 (PS4 vs Xbox One)? Does it mean the end of many old Thanksgiving traditions? Does it mean the end of many Black Friday traditions? Will we shop till we drop from Thanksgiving Day until end of Small Business Saturday? Are restaurants going to be open? Is Thanksgiving still the main event in November, or is it Christmas shopping? Is Black Friday still Black Friday if the stores never close? Is a deal still a deal, or should I buy what I really want December 26th? Are we having Thanksgiving, or are we having a Christmas Pre-Game?

PS Faith just informed me that Dec.4 may be the best day to shop. Black Friday is the busiest, but what's the best day to holiday shop?