Tuesday, December 17, 2013

For My Husband

Bryan I am not angry with you. I am your wife. I will always be your wife. You will always be my husband. I wish I could celebrate the best of us. I wish while we were on the same plane you could have seen the best of me. If I live past this moment I promise you, you will see my best. I promise you that you will see how great my love for you is. You are the man I loved to show off. I will show you that I can be a great wife. Build our world on the next plane. Make it bright and wonderful. Be there to receive all four of us. We will be new and you must show us how much fun the next life is. I give you permission to see everything in my heart, soul and body and mind. There are no locks. See it all. Know it all. I give you permission to speak to me whenever you want. I give you permission to show yourself to me whenever you want. I give you permission to move forward whenever you want. Go into the light and make a home for us. You were always a great man now become an even greater being. Let no one hold you back. Let no thoughts hold you back. Let no regrets hold you back. I am your wife! I love you now and always!

I sent this to him this Sunday at 7:53 PM.  I post it now in hopes that if he could not feel my words then that maybe others reading it will help him feel it.  I am...I just am. (Please note "if I live past this moment" only means I know I am not guaranteed any moment past the breath I have now.) Bryan passed away on the 13th Friday of this month of December in the of year 2013. 

My love, Bryan Scichilone.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Christmas Party Kickoff-"Sister to Sister" (Getting In The Christmas Spirit)

White and Red Queen
Aunt Crystal wears the white hat.  Mom wears the Red.
The White and Red Queen

Our Aunt (Mom's sister) always throws a party the first Saturday of December titled "Sister to Sister.”  It is her way of celebrating her relationship with her sisters and other women.  It is her official Christmas kickoff party.  She never cancels, not during a snow storm, not during an ice storm, and not during a tornado.  It has become a tradition.  This year was no different.  We had a winter storm that Friday, and yet we were all there and ready to party.

Now, many of my Aunt's friends are older than her.  In fact, some of the women are at least 20 years older, so the party is kind of a strange and wonderful mix of women.  The point of the party is to have fun and, oddly enough, everyone does.  Now, at every party there is food, but this party is a little different.  My Aunt, who makes wonderful food, keeps it simple and tasty for this party.  We all eat well, but the main course is experiencing a day together.  It is a moment in time that makes you feel good about yourself and, frankly, privileged to be a woman.  Trust me, the guys have their own party that day, but I doubt it was as lively.

My Aunt's "Sister to Sister" party allows everyone of us to be little girls and grown women at the same time.  We play games.  We sing songs (Twelve Days Of Christmas every year), and we dance. Yes, we have a grand old time.  My Aunt may not know how much everyone appreciates her party, but we do! I admit sometimes I have a little panic attack before going.  I am not always feeling very social or in the Christmas spirit, but by the end of the night I am always glad that I came.  Plus where else am I going to see an 80 year old woman drop it like its hot!!! My Aunt's friends may be older than her, but they sure can party!