Halloween and The American Horror Story Election: We Are Caught In The Middle of a Fun Holiday and a Terrible Election

I was going to talk about how my family is divided between Halloween and the election.  I was going to say that Mom & Faith are focused on our party.  Joy is focused on making the best contacts for us and of course I am focused mainly on saving our country from the reality show American Horror Story: Election.  Mom and Faith just walked into the house and guess what? They had a two hour "discussion" with a Trump supporter.  Faith is vowing to not go out again unless absolutely necessary.  For her, running into another Trump supporter would be a real nightmare.  And there you have it, even mom (Glenda the Good) and Faith Hope, who have been the only two fighting to enjoy Halloween got pulled into this horror story today.

We have an election with a p**sy groping hand, claims that the Central Park 5 aren't innocent (even though they are), Putin digging around in American politics, and racism becoming mainstream! It is a nightmare and for a while mom and Faith did their best to keep this election in the far background of their lives.  We are all voting for Clinton.  We all watch the debates.  I unfortunately spend almost every moment online and watching CNN and MSNBC.  Don't get me wrong Halloween is like my favorite holiday.  My ringtone used to be the theme song from the movie Halloween.  I really wish I could relax and enjoy this time but I can't.  I am worried about my beloved country.  We are a proud melting pot with many beautiful holidays and traditions including Halloween.  We are a divided family because we can't agree on how we need to spend our time.  We are all voting but I feel we need to do more than that.  The rest of My Royal Family 4 would like spend more time enjoying this beautiful Fall weather, of course they can't really because the election is everywhere and they are very concerned.

I want to have a good time but the election is literally ruining what would normally be great moments.  When the four of us go out to a bar we hear awful things from these Trump supporters.  When we watch the debates we scream at the TV because of the ridiculous, racist, sexist and just plain wrong things that Trump says.  We are even disagreeing on how to respond to this living nightmare.  I say we vote early and go to a battleground state on election day.  Mom says we should vote and just live our lives.  Mom and I had a major argument.  She raised all of us to be active in defending our rights as women and as black women.  I know that our energy will help get at least one person to vote that may have skipped the polls. I think we should be in a battleground state on election day.  Joy and Faith are remaining neutral.  They both think our energy needs to focus on our businesses but they also want to be part of the festivities election day.

Tomorrow is the last debate.  I had planned to have a party but after the last debate I am afraid.  We will watch but we may not invite people over.  Then again we may.  We throw last minute parties all the time.  The first debate Faith made Korean food.  The second debate we went to Clinton's Louisville, KY headquarters.  Tomorrow we will stay home.  I think the theme should be comfort food.  We need some comfort right now.  I intend to vote this Friday.  I intend to be in a battleground state on Nov. 8, 2016.  I must admit I am tired of it all.  This Saturday Halloween will have my focus. I will try my best to make sure the rest of the 4 feel great and energized.  I will do my best to make this nightmare of an election our best HALLOWEEN EVER!  I don't know how but it starts right after the last debate and I can't wait.  If I get Joy, Mom and Faith really happy maybe they will help me on Nov. 8th. I'm not asking them to work all day, just maybe 2 hours and then we'll explore the city.  Maybe spread some early Holiday cheer.  I added a poll asking what city we should visit, please vote.  It will help me persuade them.

Click here to tell us which Battleground city is more fun and needs our help November 8th!

Call It A Work Christmas

The 4 have had a very odd year this year and yet it was not so odd.  It was full of ups and downs, arguments and fights followed by impossible achievements.  This Christmas like this year was very odd.  On paper we had the best Christmas ever!!! It was filled with evening gowns, 100% silk linens and major property acquisitions.  There were no real major fights during the Holidays and we had a beautiful Christmas tree.  We even have great pictures of the four of us together.  On paper everything was perfect.  In the years to come that is how I hope to remember everything.  Off paper was something the world doesn't see.  Everything we did, every present we gave each other, every picture we took, was part of our working Christmas.  Yes, even on Christmas Day, we worked.

The Gifts

We each purchased beautiful dresses for each other.  They look beautiful and we look beautiful in them but every dress we bought was for an ad campaign.  We didn't pick the dresses because we wanted them.  We picked the dresses because we needed them.  Do we love Ralph Lauren? Yes. Would we have made different purchases if these were actual gifts? Yes.  We were so under pressure the entire month of December that we didn't give ourselves a chance to even think.  We each got at least 5-8 great gowns and dresses.  If it were a holiday shopping spree it would have been a fun one.  We would have enjoyed ourselves.  Perspective is everything.  We were panicked.  We wanted a certain look so we didn't go for what we wanted for Christmas.  I look at the rack of clothes in our "war room" and they really are amazing but I can't say they were gifts because they weren't.  If I could do the moment again I would remove the pressure we felt to get things done.  I would have noticed sooner that I am in a store with my beautiful mother and my two beautiful sisters shopping for dresses.  Next year and the years to follow will be working Christmases, too.  I know this because of the type of work we do but I am going to have to learn to change my perspective.  A woman in the grocery store was talking to her sister on the phone.  I over heard her ask her sister if she wanted to go dress shopping.  It was only then that I realized that I had that moment with my sisters already and I missed it! When family works together it is hard sometimes.  We are entertainers, event planners and we host guest from around the world.  Entertainers never take off for holidays, hospitality never takes off for Holidays.  Technically we did not give each other gifts, but we can think of what we did purchase this year as a working gift.

I did however buy silk for each of us.  I had been meaning to for years but silk, even on sale, even with a coupon, is expensive.  I spent well over $300.00.  I think it was closer to $500.00.  I should know but I am trying to avoid becoming depressed.  So why did I buy silk now? It wasn't for Christmas, although my purchase arrived just before Christmas Eve.  I bought it because I am trying my best to avoid a major problem with our hair.  Yea, I know just get a regular satin pillow case and hair cap.  I tried that.  I have used that for years.  Silk is better.  Satin served me well but it was not enough.  Satin keeps hair healthy but it doesn't protect as well as silk.  Oh and just so you know satin is the type of weave of the fabric it is not fabric.  Satin can be any fabric including silk.  I also learned that real silk is sold by the weight not thread count.  Well, to get back to the topic.  Something really bad happened that I don't want to talk about, but the silk was all I could do to help the situation.  I one day I will have the money to get them piles and piles of silk for fun.

The property we bought is a historic building.  It is a building everyone notices when you drive by and we will make it a place people won't forget.  We closed on this building in December which is a great Christmas present for all of us but...this was a lot of work.  Several months of stress and more to come.  Still this was the best moment we had this Holiday Season.  Maybe by New Year's Eve we will take a moment and really celebrate.  Again perspective is everything.   We need to take just 30 minutes and say wow.  Instead we are busy renovating the building and booking guest at our properties and burning the candle at both ends.  I want the 4 to see that they are not just working, but achieving great things.  I just need them to take in that this is Christmas and though everything we did this year was for work, it is still pretty cool.

Work

We tried to attend family events this year.  Last year I did not attend Christmas dinner and missed most of the Holiday Season.  This year I really wanted to try and be there with everyone for Christmas.  I was looking forward to Aunt Kim's Charity Party.  I missed it.  I wanted to be on time for Aunt Crystal's Christmas dinner.  We were 2 hours late.  I knew Aunt Kim's party was going to be amazing.  I was still searching for dresses with Mom and my sisters for our company ad at 9:00 PM the evening of my Aunt's Party.  I looked like a haggard hobo not a woman looking for dresses for work.  I remembered looking at my phone and saying I'm not going to make it.  Being creative while collaborating with 3 other women takes time.  The pics to Aunt Kim's event were amazing.  We were also late for Christmas dinner.  Why? Because we had someone book our property on Christmas Day.  Our guest arrived in Louisville on Christmas and found they had nowhere to stay.  Since we just purchased a new building this was a much needed booking.  Mom and Faith worked hard to settle our guest in one of our places.  In our family, you dress for Christmas dinner.  We did not.  We arrived looking well, less than what is expected, but we were there and we had fun.

Holiday Season

My husband passed December 13, 2013, Friday the 13th.  This year I wanted to decorate on the 13th to change the emotional charge of the day.  We haven't decorated since 2012.  We did not get a chance to do anything for Christmas on December, 13th this year like I wanted.  I was feeling  down. I felt like I failed.  I was downstairs at 2 am when the doorbell rang.  I didn't answer the door because it couldn't be for me and everyone else was asleep.  I did not know it was my mother's youngest brother, my uncle.  I did not know he brought us a real tree.  I went to bed before dawn.  I called my mother later that morning and she told me Uncle Wayne left us a tree.  The mood at our home had not been good.  It was difficult at best.  When I came downstairs later that afternoon it smelled like Christmas.  Faith who works all day and all night everyday looked happier than she had in months.  The tension was leaving our home.  We had something that we needed but couldn't get for ourselves left at our door step and it changed everything.  My uncle knew what the 13th was and he brought us a tree.  My uncle loved Bryan, too.  We all did.  He was our family.  I believe Bryan knew we felt defeated.  He knew that we really needed to change that day, so he sent my uncle at 2 am.  Thank God! We decorated our tree differently than we normally do but we still love it.  That is our first tree in years.

Perspective

I need to look at my life with new eyes.  Days can be a burden or a learning experience.  Work can be work or a moment to be spent with others.  A beautiful dress is a beautiful dress.  Does it matter that I got it for work? Christmas is Christmas even when we work so hard and we don't take notice.  Christmas happens. Life happens.

Why Royal?

Why Royal? I am sure many people ask that question when they see this page. I am also sure many other people get it. There is for me a well defined and yet verbally undefinable reason why I call my family royal. For me it is what it is and I consider all of my family not just the 4 as Royal, I always have. In Zen they say that if you try to define something you kill it. So I will do my best to bring you closer to my reasoning as possible without trying to define it.

The word Royal suits me and my family. It just fits. Some people are not comfortable with such a title and that's okay. The title of farmer really mattered to my Grandfather. Yes he was a reverend and a carpenter but the thing that made him smile most was farmer. To me, he was a Royal farmer, because I was lucky enough to know my great grandmother, his mother, but he down played that Royal part a lot. There are all kinds of titles in this world. Titles that are forced upon you and titles you choose.  

There are also titles that go beyond choosing and beyond simply what you do. For me and my family there is something that seems written in our very being and the only word I can give it is Royal. It is there when we are at our best and our worst. It is there when we are in a crowd of a thousand other people. Our Royalty is not attached to a crown, a piece of land or a country. Our Royalty transcends all time and space and is recognized across the universe.  

The problem is with the way the world works growing up I began to become ashamed. For I was a Royal without a country to rule. I had no knights to protect me. I had no army to command. History of this country forced more than half of my ancestors to carry the title of slave. I could not boldly go out in this world with the title I knew I had/have. 

Then it occurred to me, why relinquish my truth, my crown. If I continue to live by what this world (reality) is offering me, I will be living on nothing, as I am a woman and black. I am claiming what is mine! People can try to take it away all they want but I be damned if I am just going to give it away! There are some titles you choose like husband. Other titles are forced upon you like slave. But we each have other titles that have existed with us since the beginning of time. I and frankly the rest of my family was born with a memory of one of ours. It is a Royal title and My Royal Family 4 will serve as a beacon. The 4 will not hide to make the world comfortable. The 4 will shine!

We Are All Sisters Happy Holidays

For years now my Aunt Crystal has held her annual Sister To Sister (Click here to read about 2013 party it was a blast) party. It is a party to bring together sisters of all kinds. Blood sisters, In-Law Sisters, Church sisters, Best Friend Sisters, Work Sisters and any other type of "sister" you can think of gather together for the first Saturday in December.  

Now our family is very big and I don't think all of Aunt Crystals sisters have ever been at this event at the same time. In fact I know they have not. Now my mom has been there almost every year and so has Aunt Kathy but Aunt Crystal has yet to be lucky enough to have all her sisters attend in the same year. There is Yvonne the oldest, then of course Crystal (the host), Glenda (my mom), Wanda, Lutisha, C.C., Tonya, and Kimberly. They are a party onto themselves and one day I am sure that all will party together. FYI funerals don't count, lol.

Aunt Crystal's party has more to do with building up a sisterhood than being blood sisters. She wants women to come together and eat because that's what families do. She wants us to play games together because that's how families build relationships. She wants us to laugh and dance together because that's how our sisterhood celebrates this life together. In December 2013 I became a widow. Eight months later in August 2014 my Aunt Crystal became a widow, too. It is 2015 and many of the ladies attended a wake before coming to the party. Regardless we all share our lives together.

Sisters are sisters but sometimes your blood sister can't be there for you. At a gathering like this it is okay because you always belong to a sisterhood of women. Sometimes your Aunt is your sister. Sometimes the person who works with your Aunt and that you are meeting for the first time, is your sister. When you enter my Aunts party you know that everyone is a sister period and that is a comfort. It kicks off the holidays and all though we may not know what the future holds, we know today there will be the game Pokeno.

My Jedi Mind Trick Diet Part II: Holiday Diet Or Food Fest? Thanksgiving, Christmas And New Years

It is Black Friday many of you have Thanksgiving leftovers you are still eating your way through.  I decided to go my own path and my own way.  I am making up my own rules and this will be the first Thanksgiving I actually lost weight and I mean a lot of weight.  I did not have a Thanksgiving meal yesterday and I loved it.  I am finding my own Jedi way.  To get the back story checkout my blog My Jedi Mind Trick Diet.

I was not sad to miss out on some of my Thanksgiving favorites.  In fact I ate some of my favorites the week before Thanksgiving.  I just feel Thanksgiving never occurs at a good diet moment in my life.  I always end up not happy with having my big meal on the last Thursday of November.  Let's face it we all want to look good during the Holidays and yet Thanksgiving almost guarantees you will spend the Holidays looking less than your dream holiday self.  I would always lament the loss of the last weekend in November.  I would always wish I could have my best food at the beginning of November because it was directly after Halloween and it would allow me to eat whatever I want and go on a diet later.  If Thanksgiving were the day after Halloween I would have most of November to diet/recover.  Unfortunately that's not the way things are.  This year I lost weight on Thanksgiving.  This year I will be my own Jedi.

I am posting video blogs on this page about my inner Jedi, my desire to become my better self and to be truly happy during the holiday season.

Jedi Mind Trick Diet- Losing Weight during the Holidays

Jedi Mind Trick Diet- Losing Weight during the Holidays Part 2

Jedi Mind Trick Diet- Losing Weight during the Holidays Part 3

Jedi Mind Trick Diet- Losing Weight during the Holidays Part 4

How To Save Your Halloween-No Costume No Problem

Let me start by saying this Halloween was and is high maintenance this year.  It is not the decorating, we are used to that.  It is not the food we have that part down!  This year I made an epic mistake and ordered 12 costumes from one company.  Biggest mistake EVER! I had to run to the store and find some dresses for each woman in my family.  HELL!!!! I have a rule, try to buy something kind of nice for like $20-$25.  I went to 5 stores before I could find anything.  Yes, I could have made my costume but this year I have run out of time.  My feet hurt!  My Back is sore! My legs swollen! I fear that I have let everyone down but you know what? I made I pretty good jambalaya (Party Food So Good You Don’t Want To Share- Halloween Goodness) tonight and I added some finishing touches to Mom and Aunt Crystal's awesome decoration! In fact they have done such a good job that our “costumes” will look stellar.

If you can’t think of a costume or your costume doesn’t fit or you have hardly any money and even less time here is what you do.

1.     Get a masquerade mask, witches hat or some other prop like an eye patch.  You can get eye patches at Walgreens I think for like $4.

2.     Raid your closet, H&M or Charlotte Russe and find the cutest and/or slutiest dress, bathing suit or pajamas you can find and put them on.  FYI I did not go for cute or slutty.  (I am working with sexy and I don’t really give a F…I am tired.)

3.     And this is the most important. Surround yourself with Halloween decorations.  Pick a place that looks real Halloweenie and go.  It is the environment that surrounds you that makes your costume.

The decorations at our house practically gives me a pass on my costume.  Don’t believe me, check out my pics below.  Also see earlier pics here Halloween Cute, Scary And Sexy: Throwing A Halloween Party.

I will be posting Halloween Party pics sometime in November as I will be too busy tomorrow.

Oh and you can always dress up like this guy.

The Walking Dead