Fear and Love; Diet and Food

Love Yascone with Jonathan Goldsmith at Astral Tequila bottle signing
and a Food collage
These are just some of my repeat meals this year

Fear and Love 

Yes, I realize the irony and the play on my name.  I am only going to talk about my fears with dieting and my love of food and how they get in my way.  I am one of those people who refuse to let my dieting affect my feelings for food.  I love food.  Love and fear can’t be together when I have food.  Unfortunately for me, diet and fear go hand in hand.  Over coming my fear of starting a diet means, for however long, I will be spurning some of my food loves.

Fear and Diet

Days before I start a diet I come up with a plan.  Once that plan is made it takes me days before I start.  

Fear #1 Stickler Love: Once I Start I don’t stop.  

This is especially true when I do low carb or the Keto Diet.  Keto is the highest performing diet I have ever done.  It is better than HCG, low carb, Intermittent Fasting Only, Carbohydrate Addict, Beverly Hills Diet, Sadkins and yes, plant based diets. (Why Keto? I don’t lose muscle and I am never hungry.) Keto is the strictest of all the diets.  Mistakes, at least for me, cannot be made.  Therefore when I start a diet I set a goal and/or a date and I can’t break my diet until that goal/date is reached.  It is because of this I usually start with a plant based diet or Intermittent Fasting if I have a lot of events to attend.

Fear #2 Missing Events and Cool Moments

Yes, it always seems I start my diets the day before some celebrity chef has an event, or there is a major bourbon or tequila tasting, or it is the most beautiful pre-summer day in years and it demands tacos or ramen with friends.  (I know I can make low carb versions but I want to be out enjoying someone else's food.) It is because of fear #2 that I ate tacos at El Taco Luchador three times this week.  It is also the reason my diet plan starts plant based and ends Keto.  I will post a video for my summer diet plan.  (Note: I started my period this week so the Tacos may be because of PMS.)

Fear #3 Failure

Part of success is picking the right diet at the right time and having the right frame of mind.  I am going through a lot these days. Literally I was just interrupted to deal with negative energy again.  It is enough to run out the house and have a nice glass of wine while looking at the river.  So depression causes failure.  If I am losing weight this usually doesn’t happen but sometimes I can also feel isolated when I am on a diet, so it depends.  The worst of the worst, is if a negative outside force comes after me.  Like at this moment.  I am innocently writing you and someone negatively impacts me.  Well, I haven’t started my plan yet.  I should just give up today.  Failure hurts me.  I have major events to go to on Friday and Saturday.  Going to these events looking the same way I look today would also make me feel like a failure.  I need to do a video on this, too.  I fear coming up with plans because once I have a plan I need to start it.  If I don’t start that is a failure.  Worse, if I start and quit due to some reason or other, it is a bigger failure.  The absolute worst failure (and this has happened to me) is being a stickler on a diet for two months and not losing an ounce.  I was suffering on a very strict diet missing Hollywood parties while my sisters went out and I did not lose a pound! The failure never left my heart.  It was an event that colors all my dieting fears.  I have an allergy to sugar substitutes including the natural ones.  I can use sugar alcohols (without a migraine) but, my body will not lose any weight.  I won’t gain but I won’t lose either.  It was a horrible lesson and I reconfirmed the lesson when I made my Keto pound cake.  The cake was wonderful and I did not gain weight but I did not lose either.  Other people don’t have this problem but I do.  It is a built in failure😢, but knowing is half the battle.

Once I start my diet for real I am confident.  I know the goal.  My love for certain foods are ignored.  Although I do look at food porn a lot. So what does food do for my life? Let’s explore.

My Love Of Food

To me, food is art.  Food is the emotion enhancer.  Food is a mood setter.  Food defines the moment, the season, the event and the person.  I happen to be an eclectic individual.  I can be the French woman with the simple frock and a joie de vie.  I can be the Neet who has binged all the episodes of My Hero Academia.  I can also be the woman going club hopping with friends.  I know the clothes I would wear to make each moment picture perfect.  I also know the food I would eat and the alcohol I would drink.  I realized for the longest time I have not been enjoying my summers.  Why? I never took that summer has started let’s have summer food moment.  Yes, I know the saying, “Do we eat to live or live to eat?” To me it is a bullshit phrase to over simplify a great issue.  What is life to YOU? To me life can be art, even the most ugly moments make beautiful pictures.  Food is art and so is the sample size dress I want to fit into.  Do you want to live your life as a function or as art?  Is life a task? Or is life a string of positive and negative emotions telling one kick ass story? I love how food can enhance and change a moment.  

I really want to change the moment I am having now.   But to tell the truth diet food is a moment too.  I have had my fill of food. I also know Saturday and Friday are going to be good days.  What my plant based diet shake says about me is that I am in the challenge of my life and I intend to win. 

(I failed horribly, I never started because I started my period, lol.  The cravings were too strong and I just did not need the added stress.  So I will start after Memorial Day. Yes, I will be posting a video on youtube and you can watch my past exploits there too.)

Fat Bomb Soup 

my Favorite Keto Diet Recipes

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